o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
