discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
