so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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