pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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