Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize