Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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