so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
