dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
