i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
