He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
