I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
