I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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