Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
