So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
