yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
