She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
no, he came in my armpit
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
