So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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