then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize