the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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