Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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