What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
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