did you get engaged???
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
