I feel like I'm in dance class right now
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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