yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
