dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
