How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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