i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
