I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
