I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
