so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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