I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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