is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
he just fucked me for my cheese..
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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