man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
