Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
