Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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