Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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