Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
