I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Randomize
