highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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