I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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