I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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