There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
