I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Moan for me like Helen Keller
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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