i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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