I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
