I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize