I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so let's talk penis.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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