Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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