Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He passed out mid-signature
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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