That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
