Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
