i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
