Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
