Please, let me fuck your mom
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Randomize
