he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
dude. I can hear the air.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
