think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
