I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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