Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
porn star boner night. come get it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
