i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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