Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
You can't motorboat a personality
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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