Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Randomize
