i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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