Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I think your dad took our porno
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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