i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
