Can Purell be used as lube?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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