If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
