You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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