the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Randomize
