He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Come on in and take your pants off
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