He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
that is very illegal...i love you.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
