guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
