it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
