I think I just saw someone hide a body.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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