stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
