Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
