i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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