dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize