scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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