it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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