I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
