You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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